This is indeed something to be proud of. I am proud of what you have done!
This essay shows your kindness, which is seriously lacking in the society today, and your willingness to help. However, I think it is a pity to just briefly narrate this experience without giving a chance for us to look at your inner thoughts. While your experience is valuable, it is not unique, not personally enough to attract the attention of the reader.
What I would like to see more is more of your inner thoughts. What motivates you to do this? Can you relate it to your own experience? How else do you feel besides pity? Can you give us some analogy to the kind of pity you are feeling, cuz different people may feel pity for people in different ways. What's your feeling after that besides happy?
I think your essay is meeting the word limit well and you may be finding it hard to cancel anything you have written. However, it you examine it closely, there are some details that do not seem to play out that much. In my opinion, the first paragraph is a completely filler para since you do not have to be a president of something to be kind. It will be actually cooler if you are not, because if not your kindness will not be as nature a reaction since it will be confounded with your own responsibility as a president. Like "you have to be kind to be a president". I am sure that you did it out of your own nature, so don't let this detail downplay the overall impression of you as a person.
You essay has a good starting point. I'd like to see more.